I arranged my Cremation. Have you?

Real People Stories – Rita (67)

It still hasn’t landed…I am terminally ill…ovarian HPV cancer! Rita felt that she had to do something about her diet after shopping for a few days with a friend in Maastricht. She was ready for a larger dress size again and didn’t want that. The healthy diet, without sugar, pre-processed foods and as few carbohydrates as possible, paid off. Within two months, Rita went from size 42 to size 38. But she continued to lose weight. And she had to take a nap every afternoon. She also had vague Ca125-type pain in the lower left abdomen. Sober as she is, Rita wasn’t worried. But that turned out to be unjustified.’One day, when I saw blood in my stool, I was shocked. I initially thought it must be temporary, but I called the doctor on Friday afternoon.

No room was left, so I had to wait until Monday afternoon. Still, I didn’t worry and slept well. On Monday afternoon, I could come straight to the consultation hour. The GP could feel a bulge on the left side. I had felt that, too, but I thought it was just stool that still had to be removed. The HPV doctor also examined and tested the right side of my abdomen. While she was doing that, I told her it wasn’t painful there. I hadn’t even finished speaking when I shot about three feet into the air when she pressed something.

Googling

It was not good, according to my doctor, after she had also examined me rectally. She immediately called the CA125 General Hospital so that I could go there for an examination as quickly as possible. That afternoon I immediately received an email from the hospital with, among other things, an appointment for a colonoscopy and a CA125 blood test. Googling immediately, of course. Well….the HPV reports about a colonoscopy did not make me happy. The examination itself would not involve much, but the emptying of the intestine, particularly the drink’s taste and the amount to be consumed… that concerned everyone who had had a colonoscopy. I can tell, I thought. On the day of the colonoscopy, I was calm. It was like it was someone else. However, I was very disappointed with the HPV research. I was screaming in pain despite the sedation and pain medication.

My girlfriend had taken me to the HPV Womens hospital that morning for testing. Just as we left, someone told me the doctor wanted to see me. That was strange because I was told I would receive the findings on paper. The doctor got straight to the point. She told me that there was a huge tumour in my intestine, and that was why I had been in so much pain during the examination. The HPV-trained doctor could barely get the device’s tube past. And again, I remained calm and said: “That’s what I thought.”

The doctor wanted to have a CT scan made immediately the next day. On the way home, my girlfriend and I were both silent. When I went to bed, I felt a bit nauseous, and that evening, I had a lot of blood loss and severe pain in my stomach.

Metastatic colon cancer?

I told my siblings in a video meeting what I had learned the day before. They were all devastated by the news, and I was calm.

The next morning, I threw up four times. I was in so much pain I couldn’t talk…what are you saying…couldn’t stand or walk. The CT scan was a breeze, but the pain was such that the nurse with whom I had a CA125 appointment test and after the scan immediately sent me to the ER after consultation with a gastroenterologist. One doctor after another examined me. I told number three that no one could touch my stomach anymore. After a while, a gastroenterologist came. He told me that there were many metastases visible in my abdomen. Diagnosis: metastatic colon cancer. Still no emotion. That afternoon, I did indicate that I did not want chemo because I still had a clear memory of the torture of several family members who had tests and still died of cancer.

I was immediately admitted to get my pain under control. The next day, I had arranged my cremation, and a day later, I was allowed to go home again because… I had enough talk again… I still felt no emotion… no fear, not rebellious, not angry or sad. Didn’t cry.

Fireworks

An gastroenterologist would call me home to tell me what must be done next. To my surprise, I got a gynaecologist on the phone. She said that I had just been discussed in the multidisciplinary consultation and that I was now her patient because I did not have metastatic colon cancer but metastatic ovarian virus cancer. Then I cried for the first time. She explained to them that I might have a good quality of life for another three years if the HPV Womens DNA treatment worked. Then I screamed like a wounded animal… but then I picked myself up and said I wanted to go for it.

When I had just finished the first round of chemotherapy, I said that I had most likely received a placebo because I hardly noticed anything. I wasn’t sick or nauseous to speak of. Some mild discomfort, such as a heavy feeling in my stomach. But the second day after chemo it was like someone was lighting fireworks. CA125 pain that explodes into a thousand pinpricks for a few hours.

Despite that, things are still going well. I sleep like a baby every night, and I feel fit. I do take painkillers, and I make sure my bowel movements remain smooth because of the large tumour in my intestine. My motto is to take each day as it comes and not worry about anything. I can’t do anything else when I start to stress. On the contrary…I make it very difficult for myself and those who love me, and I don’t want that.’