I want to share my brief misadventure.

In the last 3 weeks, I have read many comments. I have become very close to the problem of HIV. Like many others, I thought it was a problem that couldn’t concern me, and that was reserved for who knows who. This experience certainly led me to inform myself about regular STD tests and change my thoughts about it. Even if up to now, I don’t know that I have ever personally dealt with people infected with HIV, surely in the future, I will know that I am dealing with normal people like everyone else, not contagious just by associating with them or other similar ideas that are still present today among uninformed people.

I share my experience to give the countless demonstration of what our mind can also do.

I’m a more or less good young guy with a girlfriend in high school with whom I had no relationship. Then, after I was 20, I had a relationship of almost 5 years with a good girl. After this story ended, after several months, I started dating another girl. The relationship soon turned out to have no future. Nevertheless, we dated for 3 months and had several protected and unprotected oral sex (as I think many couples do).

My story

During this relationship, I slowly discovered that the girl is almost a nymphomaniac who, in her 25 years, has kissed hundreds of men (even some women) and had sexual relations with 10-20 men. Not protected, according to him, only with those who had a more or less long-lasting relationship. Not to mention how many parts of the world these men came from.

I had always protected intercourse, few unprotected oral sessions and all with me passively.

Two days after the last meeting (probably the last because of what happened afterwards), I started having a fever. In the first 3-4 days, something over 38. Still relaxed and sure if it was some flu, I live my days well covered and warm to recover as soon as possible. After 9 days of persistent fever, around 37.5, I did a Google search. I searched for “persistent fever for 10 days without other symptoms”. I read many health web pages and some forums. In one, I discovered that even in the seroconversion phase can cause a persistent, fluctuating low-grade fever. Until then, I had never had a fever that lasted more than 5 days, and I was a little scared.

Given her behaviour, I’m starting to think that she might ultimately be positive. I began researching methods of contagion, and on the medical pages, I discovered that saliva can also transmit infection if contaminated with blood. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that the girl suffered from periodontitis and that she also spit up blood when brushing her teeth.

Noticing the symptoms

And by the way, sometimes I also have some gum bleeding. A bit of this, a bit of oral intercourse, a bit of a broken condom, a bit of the not 100% safety of the condom… here comes some fear. I started to find out about all the symptoms and how they can be linked to HIV infection. Even if I discover that they are all generic symptoms and that they may not even present themselves… I still focus on them. 2 days later, I started to feel my neck tense, and like a lump in my throat, my throat is tight… and obviously, I remember well that one symptom is the swollen lymph nodes in my neck.

Since I don’t like checking out bad news and I’ve read that touching the lymph nodes often can cause them to swell, I decided not to touch anything. Nonetheless, for 2 weeks, my neck was tense… In the meantime, the low-grade fever seems to have gone away after 3 weeks. The feeling of low-grade fever returns some afternoons and evenings after busy days. Sometimes confirmed by the thermometer, sometimes it was just the sensation. However, the sensation of heat in my legs and hands still lasted from the beginning of the fever (when I still didn’t suspect anything). Since I’ve never felt like this, with a fever for so long, hot flashes in my hands and feet, a very tense neck, and some days even a slight pain in my ears… the fear of HIV was there. After a few days, I also got a sore throat.

The doctor’s visit

I visited the doctor, who diagnosed a canker sore at the back of my mouth and advised treating it with an antiseptic. Upon inspection at home, I noticed it was almost 1cm in size. This is unusual for me, as I’ve only had a maximum of three canker sores in my life, all small and on the inside of my lips.

Concerned about HIV symptoms, I searched online and found that canker sores can indeed be linked. However, I learned that Google’s search suggestions often include HIV for various symptoms, leading many to doubt. Realising the importance of waiting 45 days before testing, I decided to hold off despite suspecting a recent encounter. Around the 40th day, I consider where to get tested and opt for a public hospital in the regional capital.

On the 44th day, I gather the courage to go. Fortunately, I encounter a friendly staff member who helps ease my worries with supportive conversation and guidance.

Getting checked

Even though the test should also be anonymous, they still ask me for my health card, but I don’t have any problems (they do the exams anonymously, but it seems that when they archive, the name remains on the record). In addition to the HIV Blood test, they tell me that the free checks also include hepatitis B, hepatitis C and syphilis. So much the better.

After two days, they receive the results. I go to the hospital, and the result is that I have nothing. Since then, I’ve been feeling good. Even the canker sore that lasted more than a week disappeared quickly from that day.

Among other things, I would like to add that at the hospital, despite them knowing that I had intercourse 45 days before, they never instructed me to repeat the exam after 90 days, and they never questioned the final result of the one I took. So apparently, even hospitals with combo tests no longer recommend 90-day tests.

Final thoughts

Even though I realised that stress could affect me, I was still surprised at the amount I had to spend. I don’t consider myself a hypochondriac, but I still feel anxious several times for different reasons. What is certain is that I developed a low-grade fever without other symptoms. It lasted a little too long in the only moment in my life to suspect (STD) sexually transmitted diseases. Finding out what I might have worsened the situation. It got to the point where I was almost constantly hot. I had a very tense neck, a brief earache, and a bigger canker sore than ever before. Many things and commitments have been left aside in these weeks of doubt.

I wanted to share this experience with you to give another example of what our psyche can do.

A hug to all of you, HIV positive and negative, for the precious forum and for all the precious advice you give.