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Do you feel alone? My Shared Story

My story with Herpes Genital Infection: Sha

Every saint has a past, but every sinner has a future.

This time, I gave the floor to Sha, who told us about her exam experience. The Sexual Rights newsletter is always ready to welcome testimonies, discoveries and news on sexual health.

However, there is not just one way to contact the virus. And even if it were, we would certainly not stop making mischief and expressing ourselves freely in relationships with whomever we want. So it is better to immediately free ourselves from stereotypes, preconceptions and the pitiful veil of shame that doesn’t help but only causes damage.

Furthermore, it is a viral infection detected by the exam. It is scientifically named HSV, which causes the appearance of inflammation. And the formation of blisters and ulcers near and inside the mucous membranes.

There are two subtypes:

• -1
• -2

When I had the first manifestation of the infection, I was very young and had my first exam at home. However, I had only one partner and found this problem on the road between home and church. However, I remember going to the emergency room in tears and embarrassment, where I answered the questions in such a sincerely boring way that I think I had dismantled all the medical conjectures on promiscuity between now and the beginning of the nineteenth century.

Who knows if my beloved Oscar Wilde, mentioned in the subtitle, would have had anything to say about the matter: sin, little experience, holiness, and disfigurement.

All my life, I feared doing rude things for fear of “divine punishment” and then dismantling everything into a single, bland experience – mine.

In bad luck, I always had the great fortune to know how common herpes tests are among people. Therefore, making it so familiar that I was able to quickly understand that a chronic condition did not define anything about me, as society tends to make us believe. And especially STIs, which was enough for me to face the periods in which it comes back to make me remember that it is there. So, it exists together with me and makes it go silent again.

Over time, I have found the most effective way to listen to my body.

And predict when to start taking all the necessary measures to keep injuries at bay, which in recent years have intensified due to the acquisition of some disabilities. So, I now live with inflammatory, chronic and autoimmune conditions, for which I am on immune therapies, and this is the only tear-jerking story of the whole affair.

There are also things that a professional figure would never tell you and that you discover with experience: for example, I discovered a renewed love for the joy that only fresh water from the bidet can give you, but also that if the cotton comes and the pain burns, it is very smart to use a cream immediately. And I have a direct line to my doctor. But I only travel with ointments and eye drops. And I’ve already planned how to act, which saints to disturb and which underwear not to wear (all of them).

After a while, you learn to live with it.

And quite peacefully, too, invent the most effective methods for doing so independently. It’s been almost fifteen years now, and I’ve reached the point where herpes comes out… but it doesn’t bother me.

The only thing that worried me when I was young was that testing for herpes was common. And it was the doubtful about how to behave when the opportunity to do things arose. Still, the seniority points showed me that even in this, positivity did not lead to major sacrifices or losses. Sincerity, openness, and intelligence on the listener’s part are fundamental attractions for me. Together, we choose how and what to do, when, and whether to back out. Without judgment or bitterness.

Revelations

I have been infected for about fifteen years.

I was with a man who had it for the first five years, too. In the following ten years, I no longer had any stable relationships. I’m more of a one-night stand person (rare, drunken one). I usually avoid saying it because, let’s face it, everyone has genital herpes (ok, one in five people doesn’t mean “everyone”, but if we also count oral herpes…

I have seen numbers that were close to 80 per cent). In all sincerity, considering the medical relevance and the tiny possibility of contagion, it seems to me to be the equivalent of mild acne (it carries risks during pregnancy and for immunosuppressed people, and I know that it is not up to me to decide what could be serious for the others). These are the justifications I give myself when I decide not to say it.

But I know it is wrong from an ethical point of view.

The times I happened to say it, I felt myself being treated like a leper by people who, up until ten minutes earlier, were begging me not to let them use a condom. And I feel very bitter about having this stupid virus and feeling guilty about not telling. But I suspect that my tendency towards casual sex is partly due to a desire to avoid the conversation, which brings us to the present. And what I thought would be a back-and-forth story has been going on for months.

I admit with amazement that I have discovered a person I like and respect (I know, I know: if I respected him, I would have told him before, yet I discovered that I respected him). What do I do? I have to tell him. But how? Is there any justification for what I did? I can tell him: “Wow, I noticed something; I went and got tested and guess what?”. But it would just be yet another lie. There is no way to create a relationship based on trust with this man, right? I fucked up, and now I have to let it go, right? Am I destined to remain alone forever?

Who Deserves To Be Alone?

You are not human waste, DTBA. You didn’t reveal something you should have revealed, but you didn’t have to. The problem with not saying things, as you now know, is that casual sexual partners risk becoming long-term partners. And by the time you realize that a person has the potential to stay, the stakes have become so high that letting go may seem like the easy way out.

In our opinion, DTBA shouldn’t let it go.

” Momo and Felix wrote together after reading your letter. “And we don’t think she’s destined to remain alone forever.” Momo and Felix are the creators of “My Boyfriend Has Herpes, an Instagram account that has gathered over 15 thousand followers in a few months.

Therefore, using simple and direct language and Momo’s delicate illustrations, Momo and Felix provide information on it by telling their story as a couple: their first meeting, the moment Felix made his revelation, and Momo’s initial hesitation at the idea of bonding with a person with the disease.

Policy of Transparency we think is best.

“Our policy is always to reveal it, but we know that not all people can do it,” say Momo and Felix. “Unfortunately, one of the pitfalls of not telling is that it complicates a potentially lasting relationship. While we don’t agree with DTBA’s decision not to say anything to its partners, we understand why it might have taken it. Herpes is surrounded by very heavy prejudice.”

Momo and Felix think – and I with them – that you must be completely honest with this man, even at the cost of causing the end of the relationship. But it might not end, DTBA. Maybe he, too, has something to reveal to you – perhaps that he is looking for herpes – or your relationship could end for other reasons. You’ve only been dating for a few months, and he could call it quits for reasons that have nothing to do with the revelation you’re about to make to him and that you didn’t make it sooner. Or maybe you, later on, might discover something about him that you find unacceptable (have you checked to see if he has any hats at home that say MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?).

But how do we approach the discussion?

“It is clear that she cares for this man,” write Momo and Felix. “He made a mistake, and now he wants to fix it. Getting a checkup was just part of the solution. DTBA must take note of his actions (talking to him) and their consequences (exposing the partner to risk without obtaining his informed consent). And her partner is likely to feel betrayed or deceived. He might want to leave her, and he would be right. DTBA, unfortunately, cannot help but recognize his mistake, making himself vulnerable and accepting his reaction.”

“But no matter what, she doesn’t deserve to be alone,” they add. “We all make mistakes, and we all have the opportunity to improve.”

I’m a 24-year-old bisexual and the person I recently started seeing just revealed to me that he has genital outbreaks regularly. Also, I liked this person and was ready to have an intimate relationship. But this revelation changed my mind. She understands, but she is sad. And I feel guilty as hell! She did the right thing, choosing to be truthful, and in return, she was punished.

Is it dangerous?

It is usually even asymptomatic, and the worst effect is the prejudice that accompanies it (the possibility that a person like me will say no to you). And I understand everything rationally. Yet, I would still prefer not to risk becoming someone who inevitably has a love life slightly complicated by the stress of telling it to those ready to make judgments like myself. Am I fueling the prejudice about positive results because I’m afraid of ending up in the “life is a little more difficult now” category? However, new research suggests links to Epilepsy and Pregnancy transmission.

–Help A Reluctant Miss